Think-pieces don’t write themselves.
Actually, I guess they do now. I wrote these in the style of thinly-veiled rage.
The Scourge of Overhead Lighting
Aug 13, 2018“Have you ever taken a look at yourself before leaving for work, and thought, “Damnnnnn, I look good!”, only to catch a glimpse in the office bathroom mirror to find you’ve transformed into a ghoulish, shiny, blotch-covered simulacrum?”
The Unbearable Sameness of Advertising
MAY 29, 2020“…the music picks up! Are those drums? Vignettes of peoples’ faces. Vague narration about how the brand is for <this type of person> and for <this type of person> and yes, even <this type of person>. Music crescendo. It’s a brand that is every thing to every one!”
The Day the Hashtag Died
JUL 19, 2023“A panic had set in. Our company had not posted a black square yet. We had made no statement on George Floyd or systemic racism. Other agencies had. Our favorite brands had. Many of our friends had. We were doing something that terrifies advertising agency people more than anything else: falling behind. Missing out. Being left out of the conversation.”
Baubles, Bangles and Doodads: The Strategy of Ornamentation
APR 8, 2025“Go ahead. Plop a Doodad on that page. What’s the worst that could happen? Now try another. Feels good right? Now make the smallest type you’ve ever seen and turn it upside down and put it in the margins. When someone says, “No one’s gonna read that,” you can respond, ‘Someone might.’”